Positive Living

Life is about GOOD HEALTH, Take Care.
Life is about OTHERS rather then oneself ( Think of people around you before self).
Life is about making FRIENDS and FAMILY & BUILDING RELATIONSHIP among friends and family.
Life is about SHARING rather then Collecting. (Distribute Wealth, happiness, Knowledge, Ideas, Best Practices, Experiences etc).
Life is about being POSITIVE ALL THE TIME rather than being Negative.
Life is about pursuing for WIN-WIN outcomes rather then SUCCESS.
Life is also about FAILURE rather than Success.

The Tao Of Forgiveness

The Tao Of Forgiveness

One day, the sage gave the disciple an empty sack and a basket of potatoes. "Think of all the people who have done or said something against you in the recent past, especially those you cannot forgive. For each of them, inscribe the name on a potato and put it in the sack."The disciple came up quite a few names, and soon his sack was heavy with potatoes."Carry the sack with you wherever you go for a week," said the sage. "We'll talk after that."At first, the disciple thought nothing of it. Carrying the sack was not particularly difficult. But after a while, it became more of a burden. It sometimes got in the way, and it seemed to require more effort to carry as time went on, even though its weight remained the same.After a few days, the sack began to smell. The carved potatoes gave off a ripe odor. Not only were they increasingly inconvenient to carry around, they were also becoming rather unpleasant.Finally, the week was over. The sage summoned the disciple. "Any thoughts about all this?""Yes, Master," the disciple replied. "When we are unable to forgive others, we carry negative feelings with us everywhere, much like these potatoes. That negativity becomes a burden to us and, after a while, it festers.""Yes, that is exactly what happens when one holds a grudge. So, how can we lighten the load?""We must strive to forgive.""Forgiving someone is the equivalent of removing the corresponding potato from the sack. How many of your transgressors are you able to forgive?""I've thought about it quite a bit, Master," the disciple said. "It required much effort, but I have decided to forgive all of them.""Very well, we can remove all the potatoes. Were there any more people who transgressed against you this last week?"The disciple thought for a while and admitted there were. Then he felt panic when he realized his empty sack was about to get filled up again."Master," he asked, "if we continue like this, wouldn't there always be potatoes in the sack week after week?""Yes, as long as people speak or act against you in some way, you will always have potatoes.""But Master, we can never control what others do. So what good is the Tao in this case?""We're not at the realm of the Tao yet. Everything we have talked about so far is the conventional approach to forgiveness. It is the same thing that many philosophies and most religions preach - we must constantly strive to forgive, for it is an important virtue. This is not the Tao because there is no striving in the Tao.""Then what is the Tao, Master?""You can figure it out. If the potatoes are negative feelings, then what is the sack?""The sack is... that which allows me to hold on to the negativity. It is something within us that makes us dwell on feeling offended.... Ah, it is my inflated sense of self-importance. ""And what will happen if you let go of it?""Then... the things that people do or say against me no longer seem like such a major issue.""In that case, you won't have any names to inscribe on potatoes. That means no more weight to carry around, and no more bad smells. The Tao of forgiveness is the conscious decision to not just to remove some potatoes... but to relinquish the entire sack."

Relationship

TRUST

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust isbroken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion,suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result inseparation.A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. Sherepeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off theline, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number frommy Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if thetelephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

N O POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successfulmarriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife ! for hershortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that becauseof her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband thanyou."We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid oflosing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around tofind a scapegoat to point the fing er at. This is the start of a war. We shouldalways remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other fourfingers are pointing at ourselves.If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "Iam looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officersaid, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty,knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the wholeday at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I needcompanion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officerlistened carefully and replied, "I understand ! you need television."There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wifeand a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husbandand the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blindand deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship.Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discoverthat marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demandstoo much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and theirspouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not thecase. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easierto reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spousecharacter will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations. .------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

R IGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will eitherprosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect andcourtesy. We! may say anything without considering if it would hurt the otherparty.A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A workerwho wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to datein the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her,"Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a constructionworker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, hewill be the millionaire and not you."Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It'slike a broken egg - cannot be reversed.------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

P ERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be anotherman's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boycommented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearingthat, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. Howcan the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, thewife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the manride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, theymet a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight oftwo persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wifeimmediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey wasfrightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. Youcan never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in thepast, not at present, and never will be in the future.Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

B E PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home toadmire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happilyhammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son,knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. Whenthe father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally hadto amputate the fingers from both the bo! y's hands. When the boy woke up fromthe surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorryabout your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"The father went home & committedsuicide.Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish totake revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love.Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often wefail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. Weforget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we takewhile in a rage will haunt us forever.